The Amazing 72 Days of Chesed (Kindness) Rabbi Aryeh Nivin

The Amazing 72 Days of Chesed (Kindness) by Rabbi Aryeh Nivin Today is the 25th day of the month of Adar and we now stand at the gateway to the new month called Nisan and the special preparatory Shabbos called Parshas Hachodesh. What is the special message and meaning of this day and this new month? Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai said that “If all the sages of Israel were in one scale of a balance and Eliezer ben Hyrkanus in the other, he would outweigh them all” (Avos 2:12).  Since Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai was comparing Eliezer ben Hyrkanus to his other main disciples, four very important and wise sages, this is high praise, indeed. Yet the Mishnah continues with another evaluation: “If all the sages of Israel, together with Eliezer ben Hyrkanus, were on one scale of the balance, Elazar ben Arach would outweigh them.” We can understand, then, what a tremendous scholar and lofty individual Elazar ben Arach was, and we would expect to find him quoted on every page of the Gemara. However, there are only a few passing references to him. Why? What happened to him? Elazar ben Arach’s wife was located at a pleasant hot spring called Emmaus. After the death of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai, Elazar ben Arach went to be with his wife, and, at her suggestion, waited for his colleagues to join him there. However, they didn’t follow him, so he remained there without them (Kohelles Rabba). After a few years he left Emmaus for a visit elsewhere, where he was called to the Torah for an aliyah. The parshah then being read was the parshah that we read this coming Shabbos, Parshas Hachodesh, and Elazar ben Arach was called up to read maftir. In those days, there was no ba’al koreh; each person read his own Torah portion. When he got to the words “Hachodesh hazeh lachem”—“This month shall be to you,” he mistakenly read them as “Hacheresh hayah libam”—“Their hearts were deaf.” How could the great Elazar ben Arach have made such a mistake? In his isolation, he had fallen; he had forgotten almost everything he learned, even how to read fluently. The rabbis prayed for mercy on his behalf, and eventually he regained some of his wisdom. The Gemara delves into the lessons that may be learned from this situation (Shabbos 147b), such as the importance of staying with your chaburah. But there’s another, hidden message in the words uttered by Elazar ben Arach. Rav Elyashiv’s, zt”l, grandfather, a mekubal, was known as the Leshem. He explains that the time period from the 25th day of Adar until the 6th day of Sivan (Shavous) is allegorically 72 days. The gematria of chesed is 72, and these 72 days comprise a season of great chesed. Right around the time when we say “Hachodesh hazeh lachem,” we begin a period of renewal, or hischadshus (related to hachodesh, the new month). This time is called “an upper awakening”—a time when Hashem brings about growth and teshuvah from above. This is the season in which Hashem took the Jewish people out of Egypt. He did not do so because of their great merit; in fact, on a scale of 0 to 50, they had fallen to the 49.9999999th level of tumah, of impurity. Since they held onto that tiny bit of goodness, of Jewishness, they were deserving of redemption. Hashem carried them on eagles’ wings; He did most of the work. Because no matter where a Jew has been or how far he falls, as long as he makes the tiniest effort, shows the smallest inclination to move forward, Hashem will bring him straight to Har Sinai, to Shavuos, to Kabbalas Hatorah. "My sons,” says Hashem, “open for Me an opening of teshuvah the size of an eye of a needle, and I will open for you openings big enough for wagons and carriages to pass through” (Shir Hashirim Rabba 5). No matter how far we’ve fallen, we need not be discouraged. Even if, like Elazar ben Arach, our hearts have grown deaf, this a time of “upper awakening.” This is a time of “Hachodesh hazeh lachem.” It’s a time of renewal—hischadshus. It is a time of Divine grace, of Divine chesed, of Divine goodness. It’s a time when small efforts yield great results. All we need to do is point ourselves in the right direction and open up a pinhole of avodah. He will carry us on eagles’ wings straight to Him.

Wonderful post on supportive healing affirmations for your children and therefore really for you :)

                                Messages Your Children Need to Hear (sorry so small)

                                Carol Tuttle  12/30/2009

Infancy  ( 0-9 months old).Developmental Need: To be validated for “being who you are.”
“Welcome to the world! We’ve been eagerly waiting for you.”
“We have prepared a special place for you.”
“All your needs are important to us.  We will provide for you willingly.”
“You can be touched and held when you want to be.”
“You are more important than any of my doings.”
“We love you just the way you are.”
“There is nothing you have to ‘do’ to be loved.”
“We like feeding you, bathing you, changing you, and spending time with you.”
“We want to take care of you, and we are prepared to do that.”
“You are a gift to the world.  In all the world, there has never been another like you.”
“God smiled the day you were born.”

Toddler ( 9 – 18 months old).Developmental Need:  Supported in exploring, sensing and doing in the world.
“It‘s okay to be curious, to want, to look, to touch, and to taste things.”
“We will make it safe for you to explore.”
“We love you just the way you are.”
“We are here to take care of your needs.  You do not have to take care of our needs.”
“It is okay for you to be cared for by us.”
“It is okay for you to say ‘No.‘”
“It is okay for us to be different.  We will work out our differences.”
“It‘s okay to feel your emotions.”
“Your emotions are important to us.”
“You can be you, and we will always love you.”
“We love watching you grow and learning to walk and talk, and starting to separating from us.”
“We love and value you.”

Preschooler ( 3 – 6 years).Developmental Need:  Coming into your own identity and power.
“It is okay for you to test your boundaries and find out your limits.”
“We will set appropriate limits for you, to keep you safe and help you find out who you are.”
“We like your energy; we like your curiosity about life.”
“It’s okay for you to think for yourself, and we will think for ourselves.”
“You can think about your feelings, and have feelings about what you are thinking.”
“You can know what you need and ask for help.”
“It’s okay for you to feel any way you want to feel.”
“We see and appreciate your wholeness.”
“You can think and feel at the same time.”
“We are glad you are starting to think for yourself.”
“You can try out different ways of using your power.”
“We love to listen to you.”
“We are here for you.”
“We love to do things with you.”
“It’s okay to cry even though you are growing up.”
“It is good for you to find out the cause and effect of your behavior.”
“You can ask questions if something confuses you.”
“You are not responsible for our marriage.”
“You are not responsible for our happiness.”
“You are not responsible for the problems in our family.”
“It’s okay for you to explore who you are.”

School –Age ( 6 – 12 years).
Developmental Need:  Fitting in, having structure, knowing and learning.
“You can be your own unique self at school.”
“There is no one you have to please.”
“It’s okay to learn to do things your own way.”
“It’s okay to think about things and try them out before you make them your own.”
“You can trust your own judgments.”
“You can do things your own way and it’s okay to disagree.”
“We love you just the way you are.”
“You can trust your feelings to guide you and to know what you want.”
“It is okay to want.  You can have dreams and desires.”
“You deserve to have the things you want.  It will be fun to see how they show up.”
“You have a lot of spiritual help to assist you in creating what you want in life.”
“You can dress the way other kids dress, or you can dress your own way.”
“We respect and trust your choice of friends.”
“We love growing with you.”
“God is watching over you and cares very deeply for you.”
“The world is a safe place; there is so much goodness for you to experience.”
“You deserve to attract safe and loving people into your life.”

Adolescence ( 13 – 18 years).Developmental Need:  Separating and creating independence from family.
“You can take all the time you need to grow up.”
“You can know who you are, and learn and practice skills for independence.”
“You can grow in your maleness and femaleness.”
“You can still feel dependent at times.”
“We are happy with your choices.”
“Our love is always with you.”
“It is okay to make mistakes.”
“You can always choose again.”
“We trust you to ask for help.”
“We look forward to knowing you as an adult.”
“You can develop your own interests, relationships, and causes.”
“You can learn about sex and nurturing, and be responsible for your needs, feelings and behaviors.”
“We approve of you.”
“We love you.”

A meditative inspirational short film about the life affirming emotional journey of Dr. Viktor Frankl as he emerged from Auschwitz.

By Haya Baker Winiarz M.A. Founder of Divine Integration Healing
Discover your true essencehttp://www.divineintegrationhealing.com/